Thursday, May 26, 2016
My Favorite Pair of Jeans Silenced a Big Bully
I bought my favorite pair of jeans with a Groupon for $11.
They are called Sessos.
The denim probably isn't denim at all.
I pray they were not fashioned by the hands of small children somewhere far, far away.
There was a big-ass pilgrim buckle across the back that I removed the second they slipped out of the plastic shipping envelope.
If you look too closely you will see that the fabric is strained and some of the elasticity is gone.
I wear them so much they are always a little wilted. Even after a wash.
They are so unbelieveably comfortable.
I love them. Dearly.
They are very high waisted.
When I wear regular or low rise jeans, my gut looks like a massive tongue lolling over my waistband.
I am wrapping up my forties, and I have to admit I have been going through a bit of a mid-life crisis. I don't particularly care for like the wrinkles or saggy bits, but those aren't the things that have me tripping. I still like the way I look. My considerably rounder body doesn't stop me when I want to feel beautiful or sensual. In fact, I own my body and looks in a way I didn't when I had a flat stomach and perky butt.
My gut is a direct result of having babies, including twins at an advance age, fluctuating hormones and a metabolism rate that has slowed to a stop. The creases and rolls taunt and bully me. Constantly insinuating that I have wasted too much time. Any opportunities for me passed years ago. There isn't going to be any literary break-out or break-through. For heavens sake, what place does a 48 year old emerging singer songwriter have in the business?
Every time I pull on those high waisted jeans I silence those lies. The taunts and insinuations are comfortably bridled by stretchy denim and hippy blouses. I throw on my black suede Nike high-tops, fluff my wild hair and do my thing. There is no middle-aged woman with a flabby misshapen gut. There is a no twenty-something with a flat stomach and perfect abs. There is only me.
I still get to do what I want.