I hurt myself Saturday at my shop. Picking up cinderblocks. My back is aching from my ribs to my neck. But more so I think my soul hurts a little. I'm no longer sure of what I am doing here. I mean that in both the little and the big way.
I am generally at unrest...you know how people say they are at rest, at ease. Well these last few weeks I have been at unrest. I know that is grammatically incorrect, but you get what I mean. I was so confident and happy about how things were going at the end of last year. I was making money, I was writing, I was doing...but now it has slowed to a crawl and I am not just pissed about it, I'm discouraged. Same - you know what - different day.
What am I doing wrong? Not just technically with my shop, my business - but on the inside. What is wrong with my attitude, my beliefs about myself, my faith? Or, is this just all a part of what is supposed to be? Maybe I am not doing anything "wrong". At any rate I need to make sure I am in alignment with whatever is supposed to be.
I feel homesick for somewhere I don't think I have ever been.