Lately I have been asking myself that question. What the heck is my blog? What's it supposed to do? Who is it supposed to speak to? Try as I might to do otherwise ( this may sound pious and goofy) I always come back to the idea that I have a 'call' to share my experiences. Rather, share what I have discovered about myself and life by way of my experiences. Especially the difficult ones. Since I started this blog, how I approach my life has changed significantly.
In my last post I mentioned the fact that I am great when it comes to harping on my weaknesses and imperfections. For the better part of my life - to date - I spent more time and energy trying to fix what was 'wrong with me' than investing in the great things that make me who I am. Blogging is my attempt at "Killing Superwoman" the chick inside my head that keeps telling me I suck. The funny thing sometimes she manages to blog too!
I really believe that the truth will make you free, so I write as honestly as I can. So yes, the voice you hear (or read) is me. As a writer, I like to fancy that voice up a bit, but it is my voice. Although I still try to make the voice perfect, it is not. It falters, gets confused and trips up. Mostly when I start wondering what people think of me, or when I start trying make my blog into something it is not.
I've come to the conclusion that this blog is not anything specific. It's not a biography, or marketing tool, it's not an audience generator for some future book. I've tried to make it all those things and it just doesn't work for me. This blog is my voice.
For what it's worth.
Okay, my OCD got the best of me this post. It took way too long to write and I still feel as though it is not 'right'. I am aching to go back and change the whole thing again, but I am going to push publish instead. Right after I fix one. more. thing.