Friday, July 12, 2013

Perpetually Getting it Together

Get it together.  Get it together.  I say those three words in my head all the time.  At least they don't slip out of my mouth as much as they used to.  The truth is that I am together.  It's just that sometimes my 'together' is a bit unfocused.

Focus in my biggest issue.  I am like that proverbial cat that hurls itself after any glittery object floating by.  OK, I don't hurl myself after everything , just those things that are connected to what's important to me.  Excluding family, things like my shop, my new website, my speaking topics and now my writer's resume. If I am not careful, I will start out researching resume tips for writers and end up trying to accomplish every single thing the Internet says a writer should do. In one day.

My To Do list is getting longer, but as I get older the span of 24 hrs seems to be getting shorter.  This combination results in me working until 1:00 am, followed by a case of insomnia fueled by a brain in hyper-drive.  While struggling to sleep, thoughts and ideas leap around my brain like dandelion fluff .  At some point my mind floats down and lands for rest, but by that time, the alarm is ringing or Noelle is stroking my hair whispering, "Mommy, Q won't help me pour my milk." or some such thing.

How am I going to get myself together to get all of this accomplished?  OK. Wait. I am together.  Let me rephrase. How am I going to get all of this accomplished?  I have a family to take care of. I have two blogs to write. I have a shop to run. I have a writing and speaking business to expand.  I am more than overwhelmed.  I must have the faith that everything that needs to get done, will get done.  Maybe not as quickly as I anticipated, or as unreasonably perfect as I want, but in the end - DONE. But it is too much.  I hope the cream will rise to the top.  I pray everyday that the things that matter will make themselves known.

Five years ago, if I looked at my To Do list there would be a host of things that I had to do for other people. I spent a lot of years helping folks get what they needed accomplished.  However, today, every single item on my To Do list if for me and my family.  There is not one To Do that is based on the expectations of others.  At least for today.  In that regard, I am free.

I just need to get it together.  Damn, forgot again! I am

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