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Sunday, April 14, 2013

Moments of Me

There are times, not often, when I tell my children that Maaaaaa-uummm."  and depending on the nature of their visit, I either tell them to figure it out for themselves or to go see Daddy.  God bless Daddy.  He is my husband, friend, lover and bouncer.
I am no longer Mama, I am Carla. They come racing into my room to ask for another Capri Sun or to complain that it's there turn on the computer but so and so is still playing.  I look up from what I am doing and I say, " Mama is not here anymore - I'm Carla."  That always follows with a  perplexed look coupled with a nervous laugh.  My daughter ultimately says in her high frequency voice, "

Tonight was one of those nights. I needed a moment of  "me". Where I am not responsible for anything other than my own breathing.  We all have those moments when we are just ourselves, free and clear.  Often its that short sweet space in between the time you close your front door with your kids safely on the other side.  That short space when you feel free and clear. The brief moments before you start asking yourself if the asthma medicine is in plain sight or if you left enough pizza money. 

I have to remember that being mama is one of roles we play.  It's the role of a life time which I get the most meaning out of it - but even though I am mama all the time, mama is not all that I am. 
I am a wife
a sister
a writer
a vintage shop owner
And I am fine with all the comes along with each and every role I play.

But maybe tomorrow, there is a moment of me on the horizon.

9 comments:

  1. Hi CJ, You bought my goat card and I have finally remembered about your blog. Sometimes I feel like it takes all my energy just to get through the day and when I feel this way I tend to forget to do things I've planned. I apologize for taking so long. I totally get what you are saying. I need to remember that I'm not just a daughter, that's my big one.

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    1. What I have learned is that if we judge ourselves based on what we are to other people (no matter how critical our role) our self esteem will always take a hit because you can't be everything to everybody all the time. Even when you love it.

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  2. We do wear many hats, I so relate to this post. Thanks for stopping by The Isis Collections. Following you back!

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    1. Your welcome. We can't forget to add writer and business owner to our growing stack of hats.

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  3. I can only imagine how hard it is to be a mom at times, not because you 'are' a mom, but because that's all your kids sometimes see you as, when you are in fact, always have been and always will be Carla.

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    1. It's so true. I make it a point to show Carla to my kids by sharing the things I love. They will always see it through the "mommy" lens, but when they are grown I think they will realize they got to know the woman in the process.

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  4. I love this post! I totally understand needing those "me" moments. It's a life saver and it makes you a better mother! Newest follower. Thanks for stopping by!!

    Tracie

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    1. The first thing we are "given" to take care of is ourselves. I have discovered that I can't do everything - it is not in my DNA - so to keep my sanity and my moods in check, I try to listen when the chaos is telling me to take a "me moment"

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  5. Guys, thank you so much for your thoughtful comments. I will be continuing this train of thought in my next post.

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