Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Mean Girl Moms

I am very selective of what blogs and articles I give my attention to because I can't tolerate the type of "chat" people engage in.  Generally I stick to my peeps who know how to have a good argument without becoming mean and hateful.  Parenting and political blogs are the worse when a differing opinion chimes where discussions deteriorate into being a public forum for hate and character assassination.  I expect it in politics. I shouldn't, but I do.  But parenting? I am always ALWAYS shocked how horrible exchanges can get when it's mostly moms talking with other moms.

Remember the movie Mean Girls?  It was about a hierarchy of mean, back stabbing, high school girls who looked alike, dressed alike and terrorized anyone who didn't measure up.  Every school or community has a cadre of Mean Girls.  They are the ones that call plump girls "pigs", steal each other boyfriends and slander anyone they don't like.  When someone cuts them down to size they screech "You're just jealous!" not able to fathom the fact that people just don't like them.

Mean Girls turn into Mean Girl Moms, and if they are not on reality TV, they are on the internet. They have traded their public humiliation of high school girls via the rumor mill, with the public humiliation of moms via blogging and social networking. In high school, Mean Girls had to look, dress and sound alike, but Mean Girl Moms can be any race, size, or religious and political affiliation. There are the socially aware Mean Girl Moms who buy Toms shoes and feed their children organic free-trade, Edamame.  There are the rich Mean Girl Moms who have daily massages and employ a small army of nannies, housekeepers and assistants.  Mean Girl Moms live in every city, suburb, trailer park or ghetto.  They are everywhere and they troll the blogs and news outlets just waiting to tear down the average mom who just wants to share her opinion.  They are the ones that say such things as;
  • ADHD is a crock, you just don't know how to discipline your bad children.
  • Any mom that puts their kids on that medication should be shot. 
  • You stay at home moms are lazy and give women a bad name.  All you do is watch soap operas all day and teach your children that girls should only depend on men. 
  • I am tired about all these single moms complaining about how hard it is - they should have thought of that before they jumped into bed. 
  • Working moms are selfish and destroying the family. Why did you have kids if you weren't going to take care of them?  
  • Women who don't breast-feed are more concerned about how their boobs will look than the welfare of their children. 
  • Go ahead -  home school you kids, they will end up being socially backward nerds. 
  • You don't believe in homework?  I bet your kid is stupid.
  • I can't believe you are laughing about letting yourselves go. After my baby was born I got myself right back into shape! 
Now...why do we wonder why bullying is on the rise?

Anyway - whenever I fall into the trap of reading the insanity of Mean Girl Moms, I am left with a mental aftertaste of regret.  Much like the stomach rubbing regret I feel after ingesting an entire box of generic mockolate covered raisins. The worst part is always coming to the realization that even though I ate the whole box, from the first bite I knew it would be bad.

Here is the thing despite my rant about those Mean Girl Moms who live to throw other moms under the bus, I think most moms and mom bloggers are just like me, even if we don't hold the same beliefs.

We all have our moments when we can be less than stellar - and some of us may have even dipped a toe into Mean Girl Mom land when our particular hot button topic comes up.  All good moms have have a reserve of  know-it-allness. How else would we make it through our days?  We do what we know and we live what we believe. The truth is that the most inspiring, authentic and beautiful things I have ever read have come from regular moms like me who just want to share their stories, insight and wisdom.

So as I stated, I have become very choosy - I don't eat mockolate covered raisins anymore and I pay little attention to Mean Girl Moms.  I go for the real deal only.


  1. I am always amazed when I stumble upon a blog where the mothers are just so judgemental of others. I don't see the need or the medical expertise to decide if a child needs increase care to deal with medical related issues and whether that parent was wrong or right for accepting the treatment. I will agree with you sometimes when mom give birth they become judgemental of other people. I know a few women like that so I just keep my distance. I know that in parenting, there are days when I am a success and others where I fail miserably so I would rather associate myself with someone who is a realist about life. Life is a daily challenge and we don't always get it right.

  2. Cynthia - How right you are! That is why I call my blog 'Killing Superwoman' not because I don't think we aren't super - but that we have to kill that guilt of not being perfect.

  3. Very interesting! Thanks for sharing.

    1. Hi Nora,
      There were my thoughts at the moment! Thanks for reading!