Life gets in the way sometimes doesn't it? Particularly for us mamas. Right? You make your plans, you set your schedule and get to accomplishing your goals and aspirations. I am talking about the goals we establish in addition to maintaining our households and raising healthy happy kids. These goals may not be as lofty as world peace and a cure for the common cold, but they are significant to us. What we really want for ourselves may be as simple as losing 20 pounds or showing up to Yoga or Pilate's on a regular basis (and on time). Then there are times in our lives where our aspirations are as complex as starting a business, jumping into the world of dating or launching a new career. The thing is - no matter what we "plan" there is always the potential that life will jump in the way and we get a little sidetracked.
I think that is the story of my life. For instance the last time we "met" I mentioned that I was going to be working on upgrading my blog. This meant writing at least twice a week and connecting with all my blogger peers and friends on a daily basis. Well that was about two months ago. Need I say more? I think not. So what happened? Life.
Herniated discs, asthma attacks, hospital visits, swollen lips and faces, school admissions, 504 meetings, board meetings, speaking gigs, crashed computers and the everyday regular mom stuff. My writing, my blog, my web store and everything else that I had so carefully planned out at the beginning of the year got laid to waste in my busy-ness. I can't remember a time when my days were similarly filled with such hectic movement from the moment I woke up to when I went to bed at night. There were moments when I felt the weight of my life hang heavily on me. There were a couple of evenings when I stood at the stove making dinner with Noelle underfoot and Quentin crying about something and Jon asking me the same question over and over again, that I felt like I was being pile driven into floor. Each cry, each question, each tug at my pants leg or waistband seemed like an extra weight being added to my already exhausted and weary shoulders. I was carrying my world on my shoulders and it tired, frustrated and empowered me. Sounds crazy and backwards I know.
So many nights of the last few weeks I lay awake, unable to sleep with my mind racing at top speed, trying to work out my conflicted and confusing feelings. I was irked beyond belief many nights at the days events - but was strangely satisfied and fulfilled. Despite my unfinished articles, neglected web store and out-dated blog.
There is something to be said about carrying the weight of the world, when it's your world your carrying. I wasn't doing anything I didn't want to do. I wasn't writing and working on things I could care less about. I wasn't spinning my wheels producing for other people. I was spending my energy on taking care of my husband, my children, and serving the communities and people I care about. How can I feel bad about that?
I can't say that things aren't busy, but certain aspects of life have slowed to reasonable chaos. So here I am back at my blog, working on my website and even laying around a bit. These last few weeks have made me realize that it may take me a little longer to achieve my goals - but I am hanging strong with my new year's resolution and my new motto.
Just keep going!